Okay, so I’m on the Lutakins diet. My modified version of Atkins, cuz you’d have to be freakin’ insane to actually try to live your life on Atkins. Anyway, I’m tryin’ to stick to Lutakins and the rat bastards at work have no fewer than five office parties planned in the next four weeks, yeah, exactly. So, today the party frenzy began. I’m thinking I’ll be okay if party favors include lots of cheese and bacon, alas, carbohydrates reigned supreme. You know, it’s just plain cruel. It’s liking putting a truck load of water in front of a nomad who’s survived a month in the desert by sucking the sweat from his socks and telling him not to drink. Did I partake of the sugar befouled soft drinks…the flour infested crispy snackins…the humungous, succulent chocolate cake? Oh, I wanted to, I desperately wanted to. I could smell the cocoa in the cake…lying seductively in its cardboard box…laying it moist goodness on the table for everyone to see. I fantasized about caressing its chocoloately layers in my mouth. Instead, I went upstairs and ate a piece of beef jerky. It’s really quite sad if you think about it. I really don’t think I could have resisted all the temptations laid before me if I hadn’t eaten an entire pepperoni pizza for lunch. Yeah, I know, I suck.