So, today I brought carrots, grapes and peanut butter with me for lunch. Lunchtime rolls around and the carrots and grapes aren't so appetizing. Payday was Tuesday. I'm splurging for some Cane's (#3 combo, diet coke).

On the way to said establishment, I hear a strange song. Aggressive, head-banger music in the background, add a rough, female voice singing--screaming--I LIKE TO GO TO THE WATER PARK! THE WATER'S COLD BUT THE SUN IS HOT! This amuses me. I like the fact that someone took the time to musically bitch about something they like.

Now, I have a happy bitch song running through my head and a tummy full of cane's. The world should be a beautiful place. NO. Why? Because people are stupid.

To the sorority girl in the white Volkswagen daddy bought:
When you have a stop sign and I don't, that means you have to stop and I get to proceed, uninterrupted on my merry fucking "I like water parks" way! The next time you lay on your horn because I did what I was supposed to do and you didn't get to do what you weren't supposed to do, I may just put my car in park and get out and slap that $200 phone out of your rich-bitch, french-manicured hand.

To the old lady wearing headphones while jogging around the lakes:
The street is for the cars, not the joggers. The jog path three feet to your right is for joggers, ALL JOGGERS, this means you. If you really must be in the street, have the decency to jog against the flow of traffic, like pedestrians are supposed do. (Note to you, joggers are pedestrians. ) Since you can't hear the vehicles barreling down on you'll at least be able to see them. Which means YOU can move out of the way instead of forcing the vehicles--which, by the way, are supposed to be using the road--to slow down and drive -3mph until it is safe to go around you. It's only a matter of time before you're hit by one of the stupid greeks speeding around the lake at 60mph. I see a sorority girl in a white volkeswagon with your name on her front bumper.

WHEW! That felt good, I am cleansed. I LIKE TO GO TO A RESTAURANT, WHERE THE SAUCE IS COLD BUT THE CHICKENS HOT!