I have a mystery light in my SUV. The light calls itself "service engine soon." It comes and goes. The owner's manual says it does not mean that a breakdown is eminent, but that I should take the vehicle to a certified mechanic as soon as possible. This must be code for: "Mitshitbishi isn't listing the possible problems in the owner's manual because one of our local service department's wants this to be an extra special surprise. Bring lots of cash with you."

Since the light comes on at no particular time and stays on for no consistent length of time, I'm not really sure if I actually do need to service the engine soon.

Because I'm cheap and skeptical, you'll probably see me along the roadside one day soon waiting for a tow truck. I will hate you if you honk and wave at me.